Visiting Family

We went to visit Mark's Dad and Step Mum today for lunch as a late Christmas get together since we went away to Adelaide for our break. They have the most beautiful home in the Dandenong Ranges and the view from their front garden is very pretty, especially in autumn. It was so nice to visit them and relax for a change (the holidays have been very stressful). The boys even behaved themselves. I was very proud of them for doing the right thing and not fight while we were there (they saved it all for home though I'm sure of it!) Angus was a little angel helping out with clearing the table and setting it too. He was so sweet!

We sat outside for most of the day which was lovely and the sun just felt so good and warm. The breeze was a bit chilly but the sun sure made up for it. I loved it. The only thing that concerned me while I was there was the trail of flakes I left indoors. It was fine while we were outside but inside was another story. Thankfully they have cream coloured carpet and the flakes 'hide' among the pile but the lovely terracotta tiles was another story. I could certainly see where I had walked around the table and in the kitchen.

I don't care that I am flaky at home but when I am out and visiting it's another story. I worry so much about what they might think. I know it shouldn't matter to Mark's Dad because Mark's Mum has psoriasis but it still concerns me. This is about the only time that I really hate having P. Other times I could care less what it looks like or what others see but today it mattered! Silly I know and to tell you the truth I don't think that it matters to Mark's family at all no matter how self-conscious I felt today.

Warmer weather .. .. ..

With Summer just around the corner I have been thinking these past few days about how my skin has been lately and what I am going to do about 'baring' all in public after having worn long sleeves and long pants for the past few months.

Now I normally could care less what happens, how I dress or how I look to everyone else but for some reason its been bugging me a little. Normally I wear whatever feels comfortable whether it be shorts, dresses, skirts, pants, long sleeves or short. Maybe I should continue to be that way but as I have said these past few months my skin has been hidden from view. I've only started taking notice of how bad it really looks this past week. Maybe its because I have been sick and hormonal that my skin has been flaring. It's been sorer than usual but I'm not complaining really it's just a bit more noticeable than usual. My legs just look like one huge red blotch, not to mention my arms look the same too. It's hard to find the 'normal' skin in some places.

We've got a big school event coming up soon. It's the 125th anniversary of the little dudes primary school. We're going of course but I've been thinking about that I will be wearing on the day. Now I cant go dressed in my usual track pants and jumpers. They're a bit too daggy to wear to something like this but for the life of me I have no idea what to choose from my wardrobe. Now of course I have been secretly hoping that it will be cool on the day. There will be so many people there that I have never met before who will have absolutely no idea what Psoriasis is. I don't want them to think that I am this horridly diseased person who may be contagious.

I don't even know why I am thinking this way at all. I doubt that by next weekend (when the anniversary celebration is) that my skin will miraculously heal and look 'normal'. I know the weather in October can be on the cool side but I also know that it can be really too. Spring weather is unpredictable after all. Who knows ... maybe it will be cold and I can hide my skin from view just for this day.. ..

Last Night

Last night at applique I was talking with a couple of the girls about my skin. I showed Mandy (not her real name) my arm and she was all ouch and ooohs about it. Not in a bad way though as she looked more concerned than anything. She was very interesting in know what it was like to have psoriasis as she has eczema on her hands at the moment. So I answered as many questions as she asked and it was nice to share what I knew. She doesn't judge me or treat me any differently. I just wish that there were more people out there like her. It would make the world a much better place!!

How Naive Can People Really Be??

I had an appointment with an employment agency today. The girl who interviewed me would've been no more than 23 or so. She was helping me organise my CV and list all my qualities & skills. She then asked me what kind of work I wanted. How should I know?? I've only ever worked as a teacher, apart from a part-time job in a food shop as a teenager, which I don't count as a job because it was so long ago.

Anyway, she said how about work in customer service. Well you can imagine my reaction. I told Lauren that does she honestly think someone would employ me with my skin the way it is?? Who would want someone with P (or any other skin disease for that matter) working in front of shop serving customers? She then replied that of course managers/owners would employ me! I laughed. Come on be honest with me! Can you honestly believe that there are people out there who wont discriminate against someone with P? I know government employers wont because that is against their policies but private business is another matter!! For goodness sake they can say anything about why you were NOT given the job. They could say you were over-qualified or didn't have the experience. They would say anything except the real reason!!

Needless to say she thought I was wrong but I know the truth. How naive can some people be?? She needs to take off her rose coloured glasses and look at the REAL world out there and get some real life experience. Her with her perfect skin .. having no idea what REALLY happens OUT there!!

Hiding Out!

I was reading the boards over at PHO and after reading one of the threads titled Do We Hide it got me thinking that I should blog about it.

I used to hide away. Like most of us P sufferers so. After all hiding is a defense mechanism isn't it? But after having P for so many years I got to the point where I though bugger that! I'll miss out on so much stuff if I continue to hide. Also I wasn't hiding just because of my P. There were many other factors that affected me too like depression, not wanting to be around people and I wouldn't unless I had to for things like work or shopping.

In fact when it came to shopping I would write out an extensive shopping list and just get only those things that were on the list. I had to minimize the time that I was at the supermarket. "Straight in Straight out" was my policy back then!
However over the last few years I thought NO. I'm going to take my time and try and enjoy it!

I know that a lot of us P sufferers would 'hide' by wearing long pants and long sleeve shirts no matter what the weather! I mean think about how uncomfortable that is wearing long sleeves in 40C (over 100F) heat!! I used to be like that a long time ago but not anymore. My policy now is wear what you want as long as your comfortable!! I don't care if it's 40C outside. If I want to wear shorts and a tank-top I will!! I'll even go shopping wearing them. Who cares if people see my skin?!?! They can stare all they want to. I'm no longer ashamed to wear these kinds of clothes.

I know a lot of P sufferers will think OMGosh how can she do it? I know you may not think it now but you too may end up with the same kind of philosophy that I have. To be honest life is too short to waste worrying about what other people think of you. If they don't like it "Too Bad So Sad". Do what you need to do and be happy with the decisions you make. After all it is YOUR life and YOU are the one living it not them!

Even though I go through bouts of the blues and I get to the point where I truly hate this blasted disease I have never hidden away completely. Well not for years anyway. As I said it's my life and I will live it how I want to live it!! And if that means stepping on people's toes, having strangers stare or whatever it is that they do so be it!

Okay I've had my 5 cents worth and am now stepping down off my soap box! lol

The Blues

As I was putting my lotions and potions on last night I had a case of the P blues! I Gosh I am so tired of using all the tubes of creams and not seeing much of a difference in my skin. Sometimes it seems so pointless to keep on going with all of this. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to cry. Which is the last thing I really wanted to do. Gosh 31 years is a long time ... ... at least this morning I feel a lot better.

When I was kid, around 8 or 9, I remember some of the things Mum used to do for me. I remember her having to put this awful smelly, slimy stuff on my skin and then wrapping me in plastic, just my arms & legs. I vaguely remember joking about it saying I was "Plastic Girl" like a super hero or something. Perhaps it was my way of coping with it back then. To be honest I don't remember a lot about my childhood where my P is concerned. Maybe that's a good thing.
I also remember having those horrible smelly tar baths. My niece (she's four years younger than me), Kylie, used to sleep over every Friday night when her Mum went out and she would get upset with Nanna (my Mum) saying how she hated getting into that bath with all the yukky water.

My sister, Julie, told me a few years ago something that I had completely forgotten about as a child. I was sent home from school shortly after 'getting' P. The school stated that they did NOT want me there because other children might get 'IT'. Apparently I cried my eyes out when they sent me home because I just wanted to be at school with my friends. In some ways I am glad that I didn't recall this or it may have changed how much I loved school. Julie then told me my Dad marched up to the school and told them off!! Stating how ridiculous they were and that P is not contagious, that it was not school sores & that they had better stop this nonsense and let me come back to school!!
I LOVE my Dad .. he IS my hero!!

Gosh even thinking about this right now makes me want to cry. To think if I had remembered this I may have lost my love of school and maybe I wouldn't have wanted to become a teacher. But then again maybe I would have .. If only to change the public perception that P has.

I got burnt

Golly what a long day it's been. We went to the Ficifolia Street Parade which my babies school was participating. They were carrying a whole range of flags from different Commonwealth countries. Some of the flags were made by the kids but the larger ones were donated by the Ficifolia festival (festival site). The kids were so excited, it was the first time that their school had been invited to participate.

We saw The Roulettes, (Aus. Defence Site) who are part of the Royal Australian Air Force & are an elite aerobatic display team. They were just so cool and the acrobatics that they did just totally amazed me. They also has the RAAF Rescue helicopter there. I had forgotten how noisy they could be but it was wonderful to see it land and take off.
We also saw some old cars, gee they were just awesome. I was telling Mark which cars I wanted to take home :P and which ones we would drive on the weekends, to the shops, etc.

I got a bit burnt on the face though so Mark said I shouldn't do UV today. Which is a good thing because I didn't feel up to it. I promise that I will do it tomorrow!!