P Blues ...

I still have a case of the P blues. Well maybe not as bad as before but I am really getting fed up with this. I keep looking at the 'trail' of flakes I leave behind everywhere I go *sigh*

With the weather getting warmer now I really would like to clear up a bit more so that I don't get THOSE stares from people. Sometimes I get so pissed off with the stares I tell people that they are rude for looking so long. Even the boys will now say something to strangers. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not yet. Oh well as long as they aren't rude I guess its okay. They are just standing up for their Mum.
I also hate the fact that the boys get teased about my skin. People can be so cruel!


I go and see my GP on Thursday morning so I'll have a really good talk with him then and mention how I really wish to see a dermatologist. I just hope that I don't have to wait too long to get in to see one. Thankfully I now know of one that visits our local hospital so I'll suggest that one to him.

Oh So Dry!

I've just finished my baking for the day and I was hoping that the time would go by faster than usual because I could feel my skin getting tighter and tighter as time went by. When I do my UV sessions I always do it straight after a shower. I guess its easier that way as I'm already buck naked. It saves getting undressed later.

Anyway .. I don't put any lotions and potions on before I bake. I guess mainly because I want my skin to be bare and get the full benefits of the UV. Today however, I wish I did put something on my skin before I started. Not so much for the rest of my body but my arms felt horrid. I could feel the moisture leeching out of my skin. Well it seemed that way. I couldn't wait for the timer to go off on my last turn (I rotate like a chicken and turn 4 times to make sure all of my skin gets exposed). I was becoming more and more itchy because of the dryness.

Sometimes I really hate this blasted disease! Other times I could care less.

I almost forgot. Yesterday after school Brodie told me that one of the kids was teasing him about me and how red my skin is. The poor guy I do hate it when they get teased about my skin. Anyway he told the other boy to shut up about me. He was more annoyed I think than embarrassed. Brodie said he told the bus driver and the driver made the other kid sit at the back of the bus away from him. Good for B for telling & good for the bus driver for making him move!!
Now since Brodie is getting teased about me and my skin what is going to happen when his P spreads and they start teasing him! I hate to think what this will do to his self-esteem. He already has a reasonably bad opinion about himself at times. I know he is a lot stronger than he believes he is but it still makes you feel bad when you get teased. I just hope that his P NEVER spreads to anywhere other than his feet!!

I HATE My Skin!!

OMGosh I could almost cry! In fact I could cry never mind the almost! I just hate my skin!!! It is NOT getting any better in fact it is getting worse. I am getting NEW spots ALL the time and I am beginning to dread the warmer weather that is coming up!
Now I don't normally care who sees my skin or how bad it may look but I think I am at one of the worst stages I have ever been! I'm thinking that bearing my skin to the world would be a bad thing right now. Unless it can improve between now and the first bit of warm weather we get.

I worry that the boys are going to be teased by the kids in the street if they see my skin like it is now. It didn't matter in the caravan park because well, there really weren't many people to see my skin and I didn't have it so bad then either. It's just gotten worse over this winter. The boys get teased enough as it is. Well the little dude does. They kids in the street pick on him because he wears glasses. And both boys feel uncomfortable about playing outdoors most days. It's not right that they get teased and to be teased about me would just be heartbreaking! It's not like the other kids parents would care because they didn't stop them from teasing the little dude!

I don't know what to do. The derm it out I cannot afford it. I guess that means going back to see the GP. Not that he will prescribe anything new ...